Rooted Online

My last day as a boy

Reflections on growth and becoming

By Thanyani A. Maremba

I had just returned 12 years. All I knew was that I am going to high school for 5 years and there after my life begins. I was anxious about where I would end up studying, however, I knew I was going to be great. Time was just not moving fast enough to lend me into the place I was destined. I knew I was ordained for greatness. It was just a matter of time all I needed was to do what was necessary now and then. My father had dreams, however, having being retired and taking care of other children his dreams remained dreams indeed. He was open for guidance and advise regarding my secondary education. Advises did come and I eventually enrolled in a school far away from the village.

I could sense a big transition on my way and a strong sense of responsibility. During that period I thought very little of where my other classmates were and what their plans were. I had to subject myself to the development program. It did not take long until I found myself crying on my way to school, in class and after school. Any time that I found myself alone I shed a tear. I thought about my friends and how they transited to high school without me. Some of those classmates I had started school with but I had to suddenly take the route that remained parallel indefinitely.

I am not certain if my parents were ready to let go of me at that tender age. Everything happened in a speed of lightning. After going through he the admissions there was some thoughts about how I would travel to the school that far daily. There were very few options. My uncle did tell me that I would need a home to stay if I had enrolled that far. He did not know that he would eventually play a major role to settle me in a new school. Further options were explored and I was to stay with my grandmother and my cousin in another village which was not so close. The distance from Mawoni to Ramavhoya where Patric Ramaano Secondary School is situated was about 6 kilometers. It took me about an hour and fifteen minutes to the school.

The first week was very difficult. It was a rainy season and I had to cross some high water levels to get to school. I was already thinking about my performance in class I would not want anything to disturb that as that mattered more. In hot days I would walk and occasionally stop under a tree along the way to catch some breath. I found walking along the Wyliespoort to Sibasa was more refreshing. Spotting familiar cars from the road was particularly fun. There were cars for local teachers, preachers, chiefs, businessmen and other well-known people. I did give me comfort to find that I am not in a so strange environment.

At school I stated to meet some people who either visited my village or the have left our village years ago. I met some of my own relatives and others with whom we attended church. Some familiar faces where of soccer players who competed in our village. I recalled that the school principal was also well-known to my father because he actually introduced me on the first day. He gave him instruction that he must teach me. That is exactly what Mr Khandela did. He kept an eye on me. He had seen me called in front of the whole school to receive accolades for all the years that I was in his school. I found that familiarity became fundamental in helping me to settle in a new school.

I did not know any of my new teachers and they also did not know me and neither did they recognise my surname. I knew that I had to make a statement. I need to be known for excelling. I also used the time when I was not known to settle better in my class and new subjects. Back at home my grandmother’s house was not designed for studying. I was worried about how I would do my home work. I started to pick the gaps at school. When there was no teacher in class I would spend my time on homework. Most of the days I would get my homework done by the time the last bell ring.

The accounting teacher started to put stickers according the marks obtained from tests. I aced the first few tests until she declared me a top performer because of my consistency. Other teachers also noticed my potential some of them started to target me and taken me out of mu comfort zone. The good thing is they were all vocal about it and they also made the class to believe that I had a special talent. I have surpassed their class leaders form their various feeder schools. I knew everything was possible I held on. Even with all the accolades I still cried because I missed my friends from Primary school. I knew that some of them I would never see them again which actually became a reality.

The first day of this major transition was a normal Sunday afternoon. It was a church service that I may not even remember. The service was held in my primary school where I held school keys. Everything was blur. I thought my life was going to change forever. It is one thing to go and visit my uncle’s place on Friday to return home on Sunday but leaving home on Sunday was such and uncomfortable thing. I trust my memory but the events of that day were in the mind than in action. I was full of anxiety.

When I was taken to my uncle’s place if felt like be banished. We arrived just before sunset. My cousin Rudzani was still away going to play with his friends. When he arrived I though I was going to feel better. Yes, I was happy to see him but my mind was full of anxiety. Latter my uncle took us to our grandmother. It was late and we ate supper and slept. I was sleeping on the same bed as my cousin and during the night I fell off the bed. Everything was different and it was hard to comprehend the change. I cannot tell how much the information I had received about the risks of joining the new school influenced my anxiety levels. I felt that whatever had been said I had to make sure that I make it work.

I knew from that day that I would never be able to call to my mother or sit at my fathers’ feet to raise my plea. After few day of the first week I saw my father approaching my grandmother’s place from a distance. It was about 2pm. I did not know how to react to his arrival because I knew he was not going to save me from my worries. There was nothing he could suddenly do to change the situation. The best he could do was to observe how I was settling and how the first few school days would be. When he left I was heart broken and he seemed worried too. He did raise his concerns to my mother but there was nothing they could do at that stage.